Brain Fertilizer

So how do you know when it's really love?

They* say you'll know it when you feel it...but if you've never actually felt a true love**, don't you often fool yourself that the infatuation you are feeling is truly love?

Is the difference truly qualitative? Every "true love checklist" I've seen is filled with subjective items...is there one with objective criteria anywhere?

The closest I've come to the objective criteria is:
1) Character matters. You can change lots of things about yourself, but character is nearly impossible to make any substantive changes.
2) Anyone can be nice for a few weeks, or even a few months. Date for the long haul, and don't do anything (i.e., have sex) that might make a necessary parting more difficult (or impossible) to effect
3) If anything about the person you feel you love makes you feel uncomfortable, resolve it ASAP...or break up. No, you probably cannot change them later. And as harsh as it may sound, it is better to go through life alone than to settle for anything less than the right person for you.

Anyone else?

*You know who "they" are, don't you? The Van Pattens.

**True Love: a love in which you truly forget yourself, and each partner places the other first, creating a mutually interdependent relationship, like an arch.