Charter Member of the Sub-Media

June 09, 2005

May 24, 2005

This Just In: Ricky Williams High on Marijuana « Fun With News Headlines »

Karzai Optimistic on Poppies.

Well, who wouldn't be optimistic on such a powerful narcotic?

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posted by Nathan on 04:25 PM | Comments (0)

April 25, 2005

Guess They Chose a Bad Day To Stop Taking Illegal Drugs! (UPDATED) « Fun With News Headlines »

Japan Eyes Speed in Train Derail Probe

UPDATE: I guess Mr. Taranto didn't like/get it.

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posted by Nathan on 05:16 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2005

February 03, 2005

I Didn't Know the Marines Even Had a Pin-Up Girl Calender! « Fun With News Headlines »

Understandable, I guess; if she's attractive she'd probably be my goal, too.

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posted by Nathan on 07:28 AM | Comments (1)

October 28, 2004

October 08, 2004

"Bush Worst President in History of U.S." « Fun With News Headlines »

How can anyone even consider a notion like this without breaking out in gales of laughter???

The link at Drudge Report doesn't link to the LA Times column. Look around the blogosphere, I'm sure other people will be less lazy than me and go find the actual thing.

But stop and I've asked many times, what did Bill Clinton actually do in two terms of office? Just about nothing. President Bush has already achieved successes that make the nation better and stronger in just three years. But that's just the most obvious recent example.

What about Jimmy Carter? Is there anyone who doesn't consider that Presidency an unmitigated disaster? His incompetent handling of nearly every issue set the nation back a decade or more. There are still things that haven't recovered from his mistakes.

What about Nixon and his lies? What about Herbert Hoover and the Depression? What about, Buchannon? I don't know much about him, but I hear he wasn't that great.

Um, let's see... U.S. Grant was generally considered to have the most corrupt administration ever. Anything you might dislike about President Bush for trumping up weak reasons to conduct a pre-emptive, hegemonic war (which I don't think Bush did) is doubly true for Theodore Roosevelt. Anything you might hate about President Bush for "allowing" 9/11 is true of FDR for "allowing" Pearl Harbor.

By what possible standard is President Bush the worst President ever? Facial expressions? Stymiing (how do you spell that, anyway? Is it even a word) every Democrats fondest socialist Utopian wish? What?

Dislike him, okay. Disapprove of his handling of specific situations, okay. Worst ever? Anyone saying that is probably insane.

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posted by Nathan on 10:00 AM | Comments (3)

September 14, 2004

What, They Couldn't Just Plug Him In?* « Fun With News Headlines »

Pitcher arrested, charged with battery..

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posted by Nathan on 03:53 PM | Comments (3)

September 11, 2004

Well, What Did Donner and Cupid Think? « Fun With News Headlines »

BLITZER: Dan Rather's stand...*

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posted by Nathan on 07:51 AM | Comments (0)

August 24, 2004

I Can't Wait To See The Quotes From This: « Fun With News Headlines »
Kerry's campaign now says is possible first Purple Heart was awarded for unintentional self-inflicted wound...

If true (and Drudge doesn't have a link to anything there), that means that the range of responses to any and all of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth are:
1) Stonewalling
2) Threats of lawsuits
3) Undermining the credibility of the SBVFT, rather than addressing the allegations
4) Admitting that perhaps an allegation might, in fact, be true.

This is getting ridiculous. I am feeling some sympathy for the minority of Democrats who were denied their chance to vote for Howard Dean in the election by other Democrats, but I honestly will lose all respect for anyone, anyone, who votes for John Kerry in this election.

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posted by Nathan on 07:46 AM | Comments (2)

August 18, 2004

Woman escapes meteorite... « Fun With News Headlines »

When reporters reached the woman, she said, "This stupid meteorite was following me around for years! ...making phone calls, bugging my employers... I finally got a restraining order, and even that didn't help. I finally had to move to Suffolk and change my name to Rose Smythe to get away from that jerk. Um, that last part was off the record, right?"

Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

Kerry spokesman David Wade said it was an unintentional error by a campaign volunteer and then criticized President Bush's economic policies.

Read Only Half Of It.

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posted by Nathan on 12:33 PM | Comments (0)

August 17, 2004

One For Deb « Fun With News Headlines »

N.J. Democrats begin to push McGreevey out early

...maybe you should have named your daughter "McGreevey"...?

Or not

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posted by Nathan on 02:23 PM | Comments (0)
Cosmic ray link to global warming boosted... « Fun With News Headlines »

Duh. Cosmic rays created the powers of the Fantastic Four, including Johnny, the Human Torch...and the way he flies around on fire, he's changed weather patterns, caused droughts, and so forth. I'm just surprised it took this long for scientists to catch on.

Er, maybe not...

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posted by Nathan on 01:09 PM | Comments (0)