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July 29, 2008

Finagle « Aphorisms »
Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
-- Unknown

UPDATE:
Dangit: I accidentally deleted Dave's comment. It was the observation that I seem to have picked up a blogstalker.
...movable type's anti-spam system really isn't very good.

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posted by Nathan on 04:49 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

February 06, 2008

Love is the Answer « Aphorisms »
Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions.

--- Woody Allen

(emphasis in quote was added by Brain Fertilizer)

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posted by Nathan on 08:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 07, 2007

Comedy is Not Pretty « Aphorisms »
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
-- Peter Ustinov

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posted by Nathan on 09:42 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

August 02, 2007

Can, Can't, Can't Even Can't « Aphorisms »
Those who can do, those who can't teach, and those who can't teach teach education.
-- Nicolas Martin

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posted by Nathan on 04:53 PM | Comments (32) | TrackBack (0)

July 20, 2007

Truedat, Doug: « Aphorisms »
There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.
-- Douglas MacArthur

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posted by Nathan on 05:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 12, 2007

He's Got a Point « Aphorisms »
Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
-- David Lloyd George

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posted by Nathan on 07:05 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)

June 22, 2007

Marriage Cynicism « Aphorisms »
Marriage is not a word -- it is a sentence.
-- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 06:23 AM | Comments (22) | TrackBack (0)

April 23, 2007

Aphorism on Money « Aphorisms »
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
-- J. Paul Getty


...literally true.

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posted by Nathan on 11:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 24, 2005

Fire At Will « Aphorisms »
In politics, merit is rewarded by the possessor being raised, like a target, to a position to be fired at.

-- Christian Nevell Bovee

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posted by Nathan on 08:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 23, 2005

Ain't That the Truth? « Aphorisms »
The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
-- Henry Cate

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posted by Nathan on 08:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 11, 2005

Listen Up « Aphorisms »
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
-- Peter Wastholm

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posted by Nathan on 07:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 08, 2005

Pooh the Wall Ornament « Aphorisms »
"How long does getting thin take?" Pooh asked anxiously.
-- A. A. Milne: Winnie-the-Pooh

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posted by Nathan on 07:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

July 06, 2005

Proof of Life « Aphorisms »
If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive.
-- Elbert Hubbard Read More "Proof of Life" »

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posted by Nathan on 07:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

June 28, 2005

Even More Inspiring Post of the Day « Aphorisms »

Of course, there's also an even more inspiring Latin phrase out there:

Carpe Melonus!

Which means, of course:

Read More "Even More Inspiring Post of the Day" »

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posted by Nathan on 06:46 AM | Comments (0)
Inspiration Post of the Day « Aphorisms »

It's days like this, when I have trouble getting started, that I have to remind myself of that old Latin quote:

Carpe Tax Revenue!

Which, translated into English, means: "Seize the privately-owned land!"

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posted by Nathan on 06:44 AM | Comments (0)

June 23, 2005

Must Be Why I Don't Lie Well... « Aphorisms »
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

-- Samuel Butler

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posted by Nathan on 08:57 PM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2005

I Disagree « Aphorisms »
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer

...but it's cynical enough to be amusing.

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posted by Nathan on 10:10 AM | Comments (0)

June 14, 2005

I Must Be Near Collapse, Then. Heh. « Aphorisms »
Perfection is only achieved on the point of collapse.
-- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 06:20 PM | Comments (0)

June 13, 2005

Perhaps, But My Teen Years Would Have Been Much Less...Energetic, Shall We Say? « Aphorisms »
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.
-- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 08:42 PM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2005

I Should Probably Save This For a Slow Day « Aphorisms »
It doesn't take all kinds -- we just have all kinds.

-- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 06:55 PM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2005

TVs, Too « Aphorisms »
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
-- Doug Larson

...and maybe cars.

Read More "TVs, Too" »

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posted by Nathan on 06:09 PM | Comments (0)

June 04, 2005

All Too True « Aphorisms »
I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
-- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 07:01 PM | Comments (0)

June 01, 2005

First Thing We Do Is Kill All the Bureaucrats! « Aphorisms »
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
-- Unknown

And:

I can't stand this proliferation of paperwork. It's useless to fight the forms. You've got to kill the people producing them.
--Vladimir Kabaidze, General Director of the Ivanovo Machine Building Works, Moscow, to the Communist Party Congress, 1985

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posted by Nathan on 06:00 PM | Comments (0)

May 30, 2005

Considering My Friends, This is Absolute Truth « Aphorisms »
A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson


...you know who you are.

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posted by Nathan on 08:21 PM | Comments (1)

May 29, 2005

More From the Devil's Dictionary « Aphorisms »
Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.
-- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary

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posted by Nathan on 11:45 AM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2005

Dare to Try « Aphorisms »
A life spent making mistakes is not only most honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
-- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 09:24 PM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2005

Humorous Aphorism « Aphorisms »
I'm still an atheist, thank God.
-- Luis Buñuel

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posted by Nathan on 10:51 AM | Comments (2)

May 03, 2005

Aphorism O' The Day « Aphorisms »
Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
-- Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary

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posted by Nathan on 08:36 PM | Comments (1)
» ResurrectionSong links with: Because Bloggers Shall not Exist on Rants Alone

April 26, 2005

Aphorism O' The Day « Aphorisms »
Men have become the tools of their tools.

---Henry David Thoreau*

Read More "Aphorism O' The Day" »

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posted by Nathan on 07:32 PM | Comments (0)
Aphorism O' The Day « Aphorisms »
Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
--Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 12:38 AM | Comments (0)

April 17, 2005

Aphorism O' The Day « Aphorisms »
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to work.
-- Robert Frost

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posted by Nathan on 09:44 PM | Comments (1)

April 10, 2005

Aphorism of the Day « Aphorisms »
Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse. -- Unknown"

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posted by Nathan on 06:41 PM | Comments (2)

March 27, 2005

On Revenge « Aphorisms »
While seeking revenge, dig two graves -- one for yourself.
-- Doug Horton

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posted by Nathan on 05:52 PM | Comments (2)

March 22, 2005

I Could Use the Latter Right Now, Actually « Aphorisms »
If half the lawyers would become plumbers, two of man's biggest problems would be solved. -- Felton Davis, Jr.: "Reflections on the Lake," published in _The Gainesville Times_ (GA)

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posted by Nathan on 05:09 PM | Comments (0)

March 21, 2005

I'm Hoping This Explains My Blog « Aphorisms »
Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish in the crowd. -- Unknown


...then again 30 months is probably a little too long to be considered "the beginning".

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posted by Nathan on 05:29 PM | Comments (0)

March 18, 2005

Fighting For Freedom « Aphorisms »
You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty. -- Henrik Ibsen {Category: War and Peace}

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posted by Nathan on 08:48 PM | Comments (0)

March 14, 2005

Yeah, That's Been My Experience « Aphorisms »
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed. -- Unknown {Category: Success and Failure}

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posted by Nathan on 05:58 PM | Comments (0)

March 12, 2005

Good Friends « Aphorisms »
Good friends stab you in the front.

-- Unknown (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde)

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posted by Nathan on 06:19 PM | Comments (1)

March 10, 2005

Don't Be That Guy! « Aphorisms »
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.

-- Gilbert K. Chesterton

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posted by Nathan on 05:58 AM | Comments (0)

March 01, 2005

Aphorism Of The Day « Aphorisms »
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. -- Stephen Wright

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posted by Nathan on 07:21 PM | Comments (0)
This Just In « Aphorisms »

"My cat's breath smells like cat food..."

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posted by Nathan on 08:19 AM | Comments (2)

February 20, 2005

Too Right « Aphorisms »
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. -- Robert Frost

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posted by Nathan on 07:28 PM | Comments (0)

February 19, 2005

Words of Wisdom « Aphorisms »
Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday. -- Unknown

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posted by Nathan on 07:21 PM | Comments (0)