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May 09, 2004

Mother's Day Payoff « Social Issues »

Ah, Mother's Day! Today is the day that we give our Moms breakfast in bed, take them out to brunch, buy them jewelry, or nice clothes, let them have the entire day off...whatever we can think of to indulge our maternal figures.

And appease them, I'm thinking.

See, compare and contrast with Father's Day. You get Dad cordless drills, barbecue equipment, maybe a weight set.

Can you imagine the guilt trip you wife/mother would lay on you if all you got her for Mother's Day was a vacuum cleaner, some pots, and a thighmaster? The pain would be unbearable. For you.

It comes down to the same old thing: Guys do what they need to, fulfill their responsibilities, do their job, and without much thanks or appreciation. When they return home, they are expected to do 100% of the nasty, heavy, tiring jobs (because that's Man's work yanno), and still do 50% of the rest of the work, because a man who doesn't do 50% of what women consider to be women's work is just scum. Oh, and since women overestimate their own contribution and underestimate their husband's efforts (that's been pretty much proven), the guy has to do about 60% of the work just to be considered breaking even.

And we reward him on Father's Day (if we even notice or remember) with tools to do more work.

Women go through 9 months of pregnancy and something less than 48 hours of labor. Hey, it surely isn't comfortable in the 9th month, no. But if you talk to any mother, she acts like the day she conceived she was carrying 30 pounds of baby and 50 pounds of water weight within hours, giving her nine months of absolute hell and filling her with such rage that we must, like savages appeasing the volcano God, offer her up tasty morsels and treasure at least once a year* to ensure that she doesn't explode, wreaking destruction and pain on all around her.

[on a side note, someone once asked if one ever wreaks anything but havoc. I think we've shown here, today, that "havoc" isn't automatically "wreaked")

But, honestly folks!, if every year some teen somewhere gives birth to an 8-month old baby at a prom without even having known she was pregnant, how tough can it really be?!??! ...maybe it's all anticipatory fear? Dunno.

All I can really say is women got a nice scam going, and applaud their puissance in manipulation. Oh, and "Happy Mother's Day!"

(*I say "at least once a year", but obviously, women need constant appeasing: don't try to give her toaster oven on Christmas, her birthday, or her wedding anniversary, either)

Posted by Nathan at 09:17 AM | Comments (7)
» Read My Lips links with: Sunday, 05-09-2004

Ah, Nathan! I see that liquid super-armor you ordered has finally arrived!

(tee hee)

All my best,

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at May 9, 2004 09:35 AM

Nah, that won't get here until Father's Day. Cuz it's work-related, yanno? [grin]

Posted by: Nathan at May 9, 2004 10:10 AM

I look at it this way: Men make a hobby of things they no longer have to do for survival. Things like working with wood, or automotive tinkering, even hunting or fishing for their dinners. When one makes a hobby of something it ceases to be a "chore."

I have yet to meet a woman who has made a hobby of vacuuming or toilet cleaning. Cooking, on the other hand... Well, let me say that the way into my heart is a heavy guage stainless steel 6 inch deep roaster without that damned non-stick interior. I'd follow someone home on the promise of that... *sigh* But just try to accomplish Mommilial Appeasement with anything less, and you're asking for trouble.

Posted by: Mamamontezz at May 9, 2004 12:14 PM

Nice insight, there, Mama. I'm not going to correct the piece, tho, because it was mainly snark for humorous effect...
...but I'll admit that you are probably 99% correct.

Posted by: Nathan at May 9, 2004 03:35 PM

Yeah, I'm with Mama on that one. I'll take a KitchenAid mixer or some Calphalon (series II professional) anyday!

Posted by: maura at May 9, 2004 08:27 PM

Mmmmm...Kitchen Aid....Mmmmm....

Posted by: Mamamontezz at May 11, 2004 08:43 AM

Hmmm, I am a little slow on the uptake, sorry.

I would love an appliance, but in truth, would scoff at the thighmaster, unless I requested it. I asked for free weights last year.

In our house, each is given the same treatment: sleeping until choosing to be awake; choice of all meals; gifts and special dessert. Whatever the one wants, the other makes happen.

It just so happens that my R enjoys getting tools, but that's because he likes using them in whatever capacity they can be used-fixing something around the house, rebuilding an engine, etc. If I gave him a book, he would like it, but he would prefer something that he can exert some physical energy to use (a little sweat, you know).

I am thinking that maybe a note with a few choices for your wife to choose from (no tools on the list) may present you with a more enjoyable day. Unless I took the whole post wrong and this was all tongue-in-cheek?

Posted by: Rae at May 11, 2004 09:52 AM
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