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January 29, 2008

The Band You'd Go to War With « Music/Guitar »

Hoplite ...the band you've never heard of, but the band you'd go to war with.

Here is the cover of their soon-to-be released debut album:
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The music is insipid, mediocre, and boring, but unique nonetheless. The name is apparently derived from the various military experiences claimed by bandmembers (both Army and USAF, both enlisted and commissioned officer). Overall, this is as amateur an offering as I've ever seen or heard, which is rather disturbing when you consider the overall musical experience and training various bandmembers have had.

The band takes advantage of the extended space afforded by CDs to provide 14 tracks. Unfortunately, the triumph of quantity over quality is an unfortunate direction for this band to take. On the positive side, however, this CD may represent one of the best examples of piracy protection without DRM, ever. I think I can say without reservation that this music will never be illegally transferred to anyone's computer.

The songs themselves seem to be a mix of inside jokes and plays on semi-famous SF&F book titles. The lyrics (as yet unpublished) provide a glimpse into the life and soul of the main songwriter, a glimpse any viewer will surely regret for most of their lives, or at least until they successfully obtain professional psychiatric intervention.

Song List:
1. ...Of Looking At Things.
2. Obama Girl, Wanna Be a Hoplite Girl?
3. Westones, Cars, Football, and Jagged Alliance
4. "Jagged Alliance" is a Difficult Rhyme
5. There are No Russian FAOs in China Division
6. George Lucas, Don't Direct Again
7. Chiefs, Chiefs, Chiefs
8. Hope
9. Hey There, Little Red Riding Hood (Cover tune)
10. Alpha Male, Beta Max, Gamma Rays
11. Time Enough for Jello
12. The Moon is a Harsh Vision
13. 40,000 in Cisco, Texas
14. 500 Years After Woodstock

I urge you to go out and purchase this CD now, and as much as you can afford. Our only hope is that they are looking to get rich, and will stop inflicting us with this nonsense after they make enough money to retire.

Posted by Nathan at 08:56 AM | Comments (15) | TrackBack (0)
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