Brain Fertilizer

...so why can't you eat it, too, that's what I'm wondering. But I will have my pie and eat it, too, because I AM A CITIZEN JOURNALIST, AND I DEMAND PIE...or Martha Stewart will slide a shiv between someone's ribs for me. Of course, the shiv will be fashioned from materials left over from the Big House's Thanksgiving celebration, which is a good thing. You know?

Apple:

Me: There's no reason it couldn't be an apple pie, if you get my drift...

Apple:

Deadbeat Neighbor: If you're done ranting at that apple, can I borrow it for my mid-morning snack?

UPDATE: Because of THE HYPOCRISY!!!