Brain Fertilizer

10. The relief coordinator insists you speak French, the Language of International Diplomacy.

9. The form for charitable donations has some small script at the bottom that says, 15% gratuity added for citizens from the US, UK, Australia, or Poland.

8. "There aren't any Jews or women on the relief team, are there?"

7. All the food packages have the most curious labeling: the "U" appears to be printed right on the package, but the "N" appears to be a hastily applied sticker...

6. When you ask the relief coordinator which activity he wants to observe today, he counters with "which ones are the CNN camera crews going to?"

5. When speaking with the relief coordinator, he keeps getting a glazed look on his face. Roused from his reverie, he says, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about all that mad donations money I'm going to be in charge of..."

4. The bureaucrats pull you aside and ask you which refugee camps have the most hot 12-year-old girls.

3. The person dropping off supplies keeps muttering something like "...the best powder in three years and I'm pulled from the slopes for this backward, podunk, dirty..."

2. The relief coordinator has more dressing room demands than Van Halen Barbara Streisand.

And the Number One Sign the UN has Gotten Involved in the Clean-Up from a Natural Disaster is:

It's four weeks after the disaster actually happened.